The Turtle and the Hare - aka “Can a vibrator break my vagina??”
By Alyssa Quimby, MD
One of the most famous (and culturally significant) Sex and The City episodes is in season 1, where Miranda introduces the rest of the ladies to “The Rabbit” – which went on to become one of the most famous vibrators out there. And more importantly, this episode gave women the confidence to more boldly shop for sex toys for their own pleasure.
Sex and the City is iconic because it normalized talking about all things sex – vibrators included.
In this episode, after Miranda introduces her new favorite vibrator – they take a trip to their local sex shop to take a look themselves. Buttoned-up Charlotte is the most skeptical but when she sees the toy in real life, she is immediately intrigued by it. “Oh, it’s so cute! I thought it would be scary and weird, but it isn’t. It’s pink! For girls!”
Charlotte quickly becomes obsessed and begins cancelling plans with friends to stay home with her vibrator. Eventually her friends have to stage an intervention. And with that – the Rabbit starts flying off shelves all over America.
So let’s get back to my original question – can your vibrator “break” your vagina? In other words, can you become so dependent on your vibrator that you no longer find sex with your partner pleasurable?
The answer (like most things) is – it depends! For most women, a vibrator is a much more efficient way to orgasm and this is because it gives us more clitoral stimulation than other sex does. The same can be said for masturbation (with or without a vibrator). To learn more about vibrators and the benefits of orgasm – check out some of our previous posts!
And as for “breaking” your vagina – it is possible is to desensitize the nerve endings around the clitoris so that more stimulation is needed (ie you rely on your vibrator) for orgasm. If this doesn’t bother you and you’re happy to keep using your vibrator for orgasm - it’s not a problem. But if it does bother you (and especially if it’s interfering with your partner sex) then it may be worth exploring solutions to this.
Here are some tips that may help…
1. Try taking a vibrator hiatus – a break from your vibrator may help you rely of on other means to get aroused and remind you that sex can be fun even without your toy. A break for several weeks may also help to re-sensitize your nerve endings
2. Explore other ways to get aroused – As I mentioned, a vibrator tends to be the most efficient tool for women to orgasm. But just because it’s efficient doesn’t mean other ways can’t be fun. IN fact, you may find that by not relying on your vibrator you find other ways you hadn’t even considered to get you aroused. Perhaps it’s your breasts or nipples or area around your anus. Your body is your ocean. Just start touching and see what happens!
3. Downgrade your vibrator to a weaker model or consider a different type of vibrator such as one with suction. There are MANY vibrators out there and it may be that the one you’ve become obsessed with is stronger than you really need. So if you decrease the intensity of the vibration you may find this helps to resensitize your nerve endings. Another option here is a vibrator with suction. This type of vibrator helps to bring more blood flow to your clitoris which when used before penetration or other foreplay may make your genitals more sensitive to what was once considered “just ok”.
4. Try using a vibrator with penetration. There is no reason you have to ditch your vibrator all together when it comes to partner sex. In fact, vibrators can be a nice way to enhance penetrative sex (for those having penile vaginal sex). You can use your current fave vibrator on your clitoris alone while your partner penetrates you. Or try a wearable vibrator that fits around the penis and hits your clitoris when he penetrates from the front. Either way, you get the clitoral stimulation you want/need and the connection to your partner – a win, win.
