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Sex and the City, Psychology of Sex Sara Twogood Sex and the City, Psychology of Sex Sara Twogood

The Monogamists and Being Attached

Attachment is an innate human experience.
At its best: it is a feeling of being genuinely connected to another human and the reason we fall in love.

At its worst: if / when attachment is threatened, we will do whatever we can to hold onto it. Even if that relationship is not good for us. Threatened attachment can make people act in ways that don’t make sense, even to them (Carrie in this episode), as it creates heartbreak and a feeling of being lost or destroyed.

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Sex and the City, Relationship Issues Sara Twogood Sex and the City, Relationship Issues Sara Twogood

Secret sex and standing up for yourself

Carrie runs into her hot, successful friend Mike Singer at a Chinese restaurant. She’s on a date with Mr. Big; he’s on a date with … well, Carrie doesn’t know. He doesn’t introduce her. Later she asks him why he was so awkward and he confides that even though Libby (his date) is lovely and he feels most like himself around her and the sex is amazing – basically an ideal partner - “she’s not the right woman for me in the larger sense so I keep her a secret”. It turns out she doesn’t have the right job or the right looks for his circle of friends or his high-profile job.

Carrie gets into her head that Mr. Big is keeping her a secret too.

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