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Consent and Sex (and the City)
What’s problematic?
This is the episode where Carrie’s friend Barkley records himself having sex with models. When Carrie asks “do they … do they know about this?” (ie do the people he is having sex with and recording know he’s recording) he replies “maybe”. And then she lights a cigarette and watches away.
Sex and the City and what it teaches us
When Sex and The City debuted in 1998 it was a power house. The fashion, the friendships, the sex. All of it. As we go through these episodes to dissect and discuss the sex related content in each one, we will see the depth and breadth of the sociology and physicality of sex and sexual-related content that Sex and the City addressed over time. It’s a treasure trove of sexual wellness topics and we are diving in!
LIBIDO
Arousal non-concordance is when the brain and the body do not respond the same to sexual stimuli. It’s super common! And knowing how common it is (plus other details) can answer so many questions and improve your sexual wellness.
Not surprising, there are loads of physiologic changes that occur with sexual arousal and sexual stimuli. But what we’re really going to get into today are the genital changes.
If you feel like vibrators are showing up everywhere you’re right – TVs shows, Instagram everywhere, even making it slyly into Architectural Digest (see Cara Delevingne’s photoshoot a few years back – check out what’s conspicuously “hiding” in the cabinet).
What’s the point? Vibrators are nothing to be embarrassed or shy about! They’re everywhere and have been for a while. We also want to convince you to try a vibrator – either solo or with partnered sex! There’s lots of benefits.
Vibrators are becoming commonly discussed and widely available– they’re selling them at the Targets and Walmarts of the world. This movement did not happen overnight – it has been in the works for decades (centuries?)
Let me demonstrate with my favorite examples:
“Can you please recommend a lubricant for sexual activity? I have heard that baby oil may cause infections. You and I discussed coconut oil but I think oils may be too messy. How about something water based like KY Jelly classic? But I also read that water based lubricants may cause infections more than silicone or oil based, and that water based lubricants actually require reapplication and can dry out tissues”.
Yes, patients send these types of messages! And yes, I answered with the right lubricant for her.
Let’s go through her message and see if everything she “heard” / “read” (translation: what the internet says) is correct!