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The Monogamists and Being Attached
Attachment is an innate human experience.
At its best: it is a feeling of being genuinely connected to another human and the reason we fall in love.
At its worst: if / when attachment is threatened, we will do whatever we can to hold onto it. Even if that relationship is not good for us. Threatened attachment can make people act in ways that don’t make sense, even to them (Carrie in this episode), as it creates heartbreak and a feeling of being lost or destroyed.
LIBIDO
Arousal non-concordance is when the brain and the body do not respond the same to sexual stimuli. It’s super common! And knowing how common it is (plus other details) can answer so many questions and improve your sexual wellness.
Not surprising, there are loads of physiologic changes that occur with sexual arousal and sexual stimuli. But what we’re really going to get into today are the genital changes.
If you feel like vibrators are showing up everywhere you’re right – TVs shows, Instagram everywhere, even making it slyly into Architectural Digest (see Cara Delevingne’s photoshoot a few years back – check out what’s conspicuously “hiding” in the cabinet).
What’s the point? Vibrators are nothing to be embarrassed or shy about! They’re everywhere and have been for a while. We also want to convince you to try a vibrator – either solo or with partnered sex! There’s lots of benefits.
Vibrators are becoming commonly discussed and widely available– they’re selling them at the Targets and Walmarts of the world. This movement did not happen overnight – it has been in the works for decades (centuries?)
Let me demonstrate with my favorite examples:
“Can you please recommend a lubricant for sexual activity? I have heard that baby oil may cause infections. You and I discussed coconut oil but I think oils may be too messy. How about something water based like KY Jelly classic? But I also read that water based lubricants may cause infections more than silicone or oil based, and that water based lubricants actually require reapplication and can dry out tissues”.
Yes, patients send these types of messages! And yes, I answered with the right lubricant for her.
Let’s go through her message and see if everything she “heard” / “read” (translation: what the internet says) is correct!
